Ry and Coop Dot Com

This is one of the entries that just kinda speaks for itself… I am certainly very lucky to have such a beautiful family.  I’d like to think it’s half my fault but I think if you broke it down at the chromosome level you’d find more of their mother’s genes… a very good thing indeed.

This blog has typically been about my journey as a parent… watching the boys grow and such.  Occasionally I’ll opine on some political statement or rant about something going on in my life.  Today, I just want to mark this date.  ESPN announced another round of layoffs and these hit very close to home.  In 2013, when the layoffs hit, there were a handful of folks who were let go.  Aside from one very good friend and mentor, those close to me were left largely untouched.  Today, that was not the case.  Today, some very close friends and colleagues who’ve I’ve spent a better part of a decade with were let go.  There was a former boss and mentor, a Ragnar Relay pal and some lunch buddies.  There were some people who, just yesterday, I shared some laughs with.  There were some shocks and surprises.  It was hard.

Luckily, in times like these I run to the one gift that my friend Tim Moshier gave me.  Tim, for those who don’t know, was taken from us at a very young age in service to our country.  Through his sacrifice I’m reminded of so many things but, most of all, I’m reminded that life is a balance of perspective.  I truly believe where an opportunity closes another will open.  I know this may sound dramatic and a bit over-the-top, and a little like the view from the cheap seats but I want my boys to learn from this experience.  Take life as it comes, plan but not too much and always keep things in perspective. I’ve been blessed to learn and work with so many talented people and a few of them got some pretty bad news today…but tomorrow is a new day.

I’ve been told by many that I should not wish any years away.  As difficult as a child can be, you wouldn’t want to trade one single bad day to advance to the next stage of childhood because, well, you’d miss a lot.  I’ve learned this to be true but
every now and then, a reminder is in order… like this past Sunday.

I’m sitting back, watching the Giants squeak out a victory and “sharing the moment” with The Doopster.  I’m fairly certain he won’t do this when he’s 20… I’m gonna miss this…

It’s been 4 days but I’m already starting to remember what motivates in the early stages.  I’ve so far felt motivation fueled by anger, shame, dedication… and now “the streak..”  This was one I hadn’t felt since my college days of 100 mile weeks… the idea of running for the sake of keeping a streak alive..running because I ran yesterday.  This is not the best motivator because it’ll be easy to shake this one off once “the streak” becomes something more than a novelty but, for now, I’ll take what I can get.  Chalk today’s run up to keeping “the streak” alive!

I decided to share this one on the boys blog also because I wanted to share with them, someday, my journey to getting in shape.  An old friend (we’re all old..just to clarify) Andrea reminded me that one of the benefits of traveling down this path to getting back in shape will be to set a good example for my little monkeys… The journey will be tracked on GetRunningAgain.com but it’s important I archive it here too…

As a parent, I’m finding that there are big moments like their first steps, first words and the first day of school.  Then, I’m finding there are little moments that come and fill you with pride and hope for their future.  For those who are not true fans of the game this one might slip you by, but for those who love baseball, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

In yesterday’s second inning, Ry was moved from right field to 3rd base.  For a kid who could barely throw a ball at the beginning of the season, this was a big deal!  I don’t want to exaggerate (who am I kidding… I love to exaggerate) but this moment in the little guys life could be equal to his first steps!

The beauty of the move to 3rd base was just how innocent Ry guy still is.  He didn’t realize he was in right field for his own safety.  He didn’t realize that there was a huge fear that he couldn’t field a ball.  After the game, all excitedly, I said to him, “Ry, you were at 3rd base, that’s a tough position!”  Without missing a beat, Ry responded, “Yeah but I got two walks also…so can I get a treat?”   Little does he know, he already had one… at 3rd base.

As I continue to track the Yankee’s run to October, we’ve started a little run of our own.  Ry started baseball as part of Southington’s Fall Ball season.  If you’ll recall, last Spring Ry was heavily engaged in battles on the T-ball diamond.  He was continually hammering the ball just short of 2nd base, nearly once in every ten at bats.  For the first month, before they switched to coach-pitch ball, Ry had a 1.0 batting average off the T!!!  He was a monster.

This year, the league combined 6, 7 and 8 year olds into one team.  The “older” 8 year olds are actually PITCHING!  Watching Ry in his first round of games this weekend, I had no idea what to expect.  I knew, though, that after watching him go 6-36 last year against Coach Tom, this wasn’t going to be good.  Turns out I was wrong!  In four at bats he went 0-2 with 2 walks and 1 run scored.  Hey… a run is a run… and my little man is learning to enjoy the game.

The thing I’ll say the most is how impressed I am with the kids.  For all of the anti-bullying campaigns we’re running, I think the best way to defend against bullying might be through sports.  As long as there are responsible, caring adults, teaching the kids the love of the game and the love of a team, that’s all we need.  On Ry’s first strike out, he went back to the dugout confused.  T-ball didn’t have strikeouts.  His teammates patted him on the helmet.  One kid said, “Hey Ry, way to get up the pitch count.”  Another young boy went over to Ry and said, “Hey, you strike out more than you don’t…that’s baseball” Yup, that’s baseball…and my little man is growing up faster than an 8 year old’s 20 mile per hour fastball!

Although I had announced it late last week, I wanted to put it in the record… we’ve officially moved in!  There’s enough thanks to go around but a huge thanks to my parents, my in-laws and The Hunt Family….without your sweat equity we would never have made it in!  Obviously, there’s still a lot left to do but we’re very excited to enter this new chapter in the life of The Austins.

So Jenn and I are definitely excited to be in our new home…but what did the other Austins think?

Maddie (Loosely translated from dogeese):  “Where the hell am I, what are these hardwood floors going to do to my nails and where did you put my food bowl…ugh I’m too old for this much change.”

Ryan: “I get my own room…with a fan!”

Cooper: “My toys!”

All-in-all a successful journey I’d say…

It was nine years ago that the world was first introduced to Twitter.  9 years ago next month, it was decided that Pluto was no longer a planet.  8 years ago we saw the introduction of the first iPhone and 7 years ago Barack Obama was elected President.  6 years ago our eldest monkey was born and the oldest skeleton in the world was found in Ethiopia.  5 years ago there was the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The point in this history lesson is, time flies and yet it doesn’t.  I can barely remember life without the iPhone and I can distinctly remember learning about planets 25 years ago…when Pluto was still a planet.  It’s an interesting fact of life that some things make lasting impressions while others do not. There are some things that sneak up on you and others you plan for your whole life.  I think that’s what makes life so interesting.

I say all of that to say this.  9 years ago today I was lucky enough to marry the love of my life.  We’ve started a beautiful family and are growing some roots in the central Connecticut area.  A lot has changed in 9 years but one thing remains the same, I couldn’t have a better partner in this crazy world than Jenn.

My social media accounts have been filled with celebrations of the Supreme Court’s ruling this week on same-sex marriage.  For the last decade this country has been lackluster in its approach to same-sex marriage with many states offering some confusing “civil union” that allows for a marriage-like contract without the definition of marriage.  It’s been confusing and wrong.  I’m glad to see our country progress toward being one of true love and equality.  It is truly beautiful when love wins.

There’s a caveat here though.  I have to lament the fact that it took the Supreme Court of the United States to force our society down a path of love and equality.  I’m not an attorney but I do believe the backbone of this country is the rule of law and that our society functions best when those laws are created by governments closest to the people (local first, then state, then Federal.)  Our Constitution sets up our representative republic but leaves us otherwise to define our own path.  The Bill of Rights, simply put, grants us certain rights essential to defend against tyranny.  The Supreme Court’s ruling was not based in any reasonable interpretation of the law, and that saddens me.

The Majority opinion in this case basically said that the Constitution grants the inalienable right for everyone to be happy.  Justice Kennedy wrote:

“It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves,” Kennedy continued. “Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

The 14th amendment does not do that.  There is a legal argument that Justice Kennedy and others believe that suggests there is something called “substantive due process”  or the idea that there are certain fundamental rights that are free from government intrusion.  The problem is, the definition of what rises to the criteria of being covered under substantive due process comes from 9 un-elected lawyers…not from our representative democracy.  Chief Justice John Roberts captured my thoughts pretty well when he wrote:

 “If you are among the many Americans — of whatever sexual orientation — who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today’s decision. Celebrate the achievement of a desired goal. Celebrate the opportunity for a new expression of commitment to a partner. Celebrate the availability of new benefits. But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it.”

I don’t want to be misunderstood here.  Love has won and I wouldn’t want that to change.  I do, however, expect better from my elected officials.  It was their job to enact legislation to make same-sex marriage happen.  As Justice Scalia once said:

“If indeed the current society has come to different views, that’s fine, you do not need the Constitution to reflect the views of the current society.  [Take, for example, the death penalty] Certainly, the Constitution does not require the death penalty, it just doesn’t prohibit it.  If the current society wants to outlaw the death penalty we have things called legislators and they enact things called laws.”

I want my children to know that I am very happy to see others finally realize their dream of marriage; I would not want to begrudge anyone happiness.  This victory feels a little like getting an A on an open-book test.  I’m happy with the result but really conflicted on how we got here.  America won but the rule of law did not.

I don’t know … I have always kind of felt that Father’s Day pretty clearly falls in the Hallmark Holiday category.  Somehow, though, I don’t put Mother’s Day in this category.  I used to.  Before the onslaught of children, I would celebrate these days and pay tribute to the old people who had raised me but, the truth is, I had no idea just how much they had done.

Now, I have a pretty good idea.  Though the adventure is far from over, thankfully, the picture of their sacrifice is becoming clearer with every year.  Now, as I celebrate another Father’s Day, I still think it falls in the Hallmark Holiday.  I don’t need cards and gifts to celebrate another year of me being a Dad.  The gifts come every day in the moments and memories with my monsters.