Ry and Coop Dot Com

I don’t know.  You see, I’ve never raised boys before so I don’t have much to compare with.  I once had a male hamster who was cuddly and not aggressive at all, his name was Clam Chowder and he lived in our college dorms.  Incidentally, that’s a story that has no place on this blog but I’m sure the power of social media will expunge it from the depths of my collegiate record.  I digress.

So yesterday I picked up Coop from his daycare class and his teacher gave me this report.  “Let me start by saying that Cooper is an Angel.”  STOP!  That’s the “sure you can have the loan, let’s talk interest rates.” “Cooper, I’ve noticed,” she continued somewhat reservedly, “Well, Cooper was being picked on by some of his friends and, well, Cooper isn’t responding with an equal and appropriate level of force, I’ve been trying to tell all the kids to to use their “nice hands.”  Not shocked, I pressed for a few details.  I wanted to know what happened.  “Well, one of the little boys pushed Cooper on the shoulder and, well, he sort of elbowed him in a body check to the chest manner.”  “YES!,” I thought to myself, “My boy isn’t going to get pushed around!”

So, today, I pick up Cooper and the news hits.  “Cooper had a difficult day using his “nice hands” and we’ve really stressed that he can’t hit his friends.”  HIT HIS FRIENDS!  Wait, now he’s the bully!!!!

So, here’s the deal.  I don’t want to raise a pushover.  I don’t want to raise someone straight out of Bone Thugs and Harmony (umm, wait, DMX might be better.)  It might’ve been my mother who gave me the best advice in this situation and now that I think about it, it might be the angle I need to take.  She’d tell me all the time, “It’s always the guy who throws the second punch that gets in trouble so make sure the first one counts.”  But, I think it might be better yet to follow a combination Jesus Christ/Jim Belushi approach and teach the boys to turn the other cheek… and always remember, the Good Lord gave you four cheeks and all four can be kissed 🙂  Oh, raising these boys is fun!

As many of you know, my wife has embarked on the admirable journey of teaching in New Britain.  For those who follow us from Upstate New York (I capitalize it for my New York City friends and define it as north of the Bear Mountain Bridge), this district is roughly equivalent to Troy or Schenectady.  Resources in this district seem to be gathered ad hoc and there are many students whose families struggle to find enough money to eat every month.  Teaching math or language arts is tough in this district.  Teaching music can be a whole different kind of tough.  Can you imagine, for example, trying to teach someone to play the guitar when they don’t have a guitar?  They can’t afford to own one.  They can’t afford to rent one and the school doesn’t have enough.

Many of you have pitched in to help in various ways whether it be to donate money or send links to sites that offer grants.  Still others have offered the donation of instruments.  Today we received this donation from a colleague of mine at ESPN.  A huge thank you to Robyn Remick!  This donation, as it turns out, rounds out the last of the guitars and now Jenn’s class will be completely equipped with instruments!  There was a side story though that I thought was a great reminder of life.  You see Robyn’s husband checked the guitar and strummed the strings and placed it back in its case.  He handed it to me and said, “I’m pretty sure this is the guitar that Robyn learned on and the one that our daughter learned on.”  In that brief moment I thought, how much history there is in that guitar and what journey it’s about to embark on.  The guitar was an incredibly thoughtful donation.  The gift of music is even more so!  On the way home Ryan asked me about what donating means and I explained to him that it’s the act of giving something away without the expectation of anything in return.  It is that but it’s something more.  It’s the act of showing you care…about the world, about your neighborhood, about your friends.  It’s something I hope we all think about this time of year.  Thank you Robyn for the reminder!

My kids are cute. I’ve dedicated an entire blog to how cute they are.  I had a boss once who cautioned, “People always think their kids and their dogs are the cutest but generally, it’s only in their head.”  It’s a fair point but in this case my kids are actually cute.

This blog has always been about highlighting my kid’s cuteness but it also has, from time to time, tried to impress certain life lessons.  Here’s one today that I’m reminded of as my kids decided to go to sleep at 11pm last night and wake up at 5am.  Please, I implore you to take advantage of what I’m about to write.

The monkey is widely considered one of the cutest creatures on earth.  What you probably don’t know is that these primates have canines that are roughly 2 inches long (much longer than the ones Cooper refuses to cut) and, because of high levels of lactic acid, possess strength that is four times that of a man.  In other words, these cute little creatures could KILL you in one fell swoop!  Why am I telling you this?  My kids don’t sleep.  According to one google search result entitled, “How lack of sleep can literally kill you!“I am actually being killed by cuteness! These adorable faces are murdering me!  If you think I’m exaggerating, you obviously don’t have kids.

So picture this.  It’s 7:55 and you have a meeting at 8:45.  You’re 10 minutes from work and you still have to drop your kids off at daycare.  That takes, MAYBE, another ten minutes.  So you’re thinkin’, hey I’m good.  Then, BA’AM, you hit an accident less than two miles from work.  What’s worse?  You have the equipment for this meeting in your car!  So, you panic slightly and start to think of alternative arrangements when the accident lifts.  It’s 8:30.  You get to the ESPN parking lot in record time, say 8:33.  You have a decision.  Do I have enough time to drop off the kids?  Instantly, I say yes.  Then the voice of my father kicks in and says “Are you crazy?  You don’t have time.”  So, I rush into work with Ryan desperately trying to keep up and Cooper tucked very unsafely under my right arm in a sort of Heisman Trophy kind of way.  We get to my desk where I promptly load Netflix on my phone for Ryan and rush into the meeting with Cooper still tucked under my arm.  I setup our equipment and the meeting goes off without a hitch.  I’m a hero and Cooper is only slightly dazed from the trip.

After the ordeal, we took a moment to relax.  That’s when Ryan asked if he could check out one of the studios…and a star was born!  Now, I proudly introduce to you Ryan and Cooper In The Morning!

Today was the celebration of Cooper’s Baptism.  For many, this is a celebration of a child’s entry into the church family.  Others are more strict in the belief that Baptism represents the cleansing of sin and the representation that God forgives all sins.  When I was young and first going through Confirmation classes, I’d often ask how it’s possible that a young baby could even sin.  Is it possible that such innocence could contain evil?  Now, after four years dedicated to the service of Fatherhood, I can pronounce to you that it is entirely possible!  You look at Cooper in his “preacher” pose and you see the face of an angel who seemingly is dedicating his life to the service of God.  What you don’t see is his left hand is wielding a blue crayon and he’s fully committed to decorating the church with his “style.”  Baptism is a great tradition and one that I’m thankful my boys have continued.

After I share with you why, I think you’ll begin to appreciate or at least forgive the title of this post.  I’ll digress for a moment and share the true power of this blog.  I’ve said it before but I write these entries to remember.  I want to remember first steps, first meals and the first of everything.  I’ll say this though, remembering is FAR more than for nostalgic reasons.  For the last four days, Cooper has exhibited unknown characteristics.  He just cries for no reason and generally has lost all appetite.  At times, Monsieur Coop-A-Doop can only be described as a real beast!  So, after having lost about 15 hours of sleep this week, I started to research possible causes.  Then I found it?  Not on a pediatrician’s site or webmd!  Nope, right here on this blog!  You see, nearly three years ago to the day I wrote this entry!

Ryan hasn’t really seemed to act himself.  His appetite is less vigorous and he seems to cry for no apparent reason.  He’s happy and playing one minute and then loses all control the next.  At first, I thought he was pregnant or had mysteriously become a teenager but I quickly ruled out both possibilities.  Then, after doing some research and talking with folks, I’m told it’s much worse.  It turns out his eye teeth are coming in! 

If I had to bet money I’d say that Coop’s eye teeth are coming in!  So, if I pause the 30 days of Thankfulness for a few days while I catch up on sleep and regain my perspective, I hope you’ll forgive me.

Veteran’s Day is always a difficult day for me.  First off, it’s a day that reminds me just how much of a wuss I am.  The mere thought of a bloody nose puts me over the edge and yet men half my age are, right now, sleeping in some desert base waiting for the chance to fight off terrorists and others who want to kill me.  It’ s a hard thought to swallow but man am I thankful there are people who’re willing to do that!

Veteran’s Day is also, of course, the reminder that I lost my good friend, Tim, in Iraq.  Good friend isn’t really the word to use.  Good friends are like the guys you play poker with or complain about your job with.  They’re the people you enjoy spending time with.  Then there are friends that are “like brothers.”  It’s a common saying when someone is close to you and you know them really well.  It seems everyone has a “like a brother” or “like a sister” friend.  I say all that to say that there’s another level that few get to truly experience but I believe I have.  That’s the level where you actually become brothers.  That’s where Tim, Matt Clement and I reached.  As I watch my two boys develop their brotherly bond I just smile.  Every time I watch them wrestle, fight or play, I smile.  When I caught this picture of them exploring a stream I just laughed and thought about the times I spent exploring with Matt and Tim.  The one thing I think is evident is, once a brother always a brother.  I’m glad for that.

I’m definitely a thankful man so please don’t misunderstand me. With that said, my parents and sister came by yesterday to spend the day with the boys and they brought showers of gifts including several battery powered fire trucks equipped with “real working sirens!” I love technology but whomever invented toys with “real working sirens” should be sent to prison for life. What’s worse? They literally screw the battery covers on so parents can’t easily take the batteries out. Have you ever tried to find a screwdriver at 5am? You can’t do it!

Now I’m thankful for the gifts, I am. I’m certainly thankful for the boys who can play with them. I’m less thankful for the two together.  I will be thankful for the sledge hammer I buy later today! 🙂

I’m seeing a trend on social media that I must admit I’m not familiar with.  This is, of course, the 30 days of thankfulness.  It’s really kind of cool.  People post every day for 30 days leading up to Thanksgiving.  In their posts, you’ll read a number of things people are thankful for.  I think I might try and do something like this.  So, here goes.

#30 I’m thankful for digital cameras that can let me look back a full year and see how much my little Cooper has grown!  Of course, #29, is the Otter Creek Brewing Company’s IPA and their wonderful libation which has allowed me to so aptly cope with the fact that my boys are growing up right in front of my eyes and, while I now have a head full of grey hair, I also have two of the cutest little creatures in the world!  #28 to follow soon!

This afternoon was a beautiful day in Central Connecticut and we spent some time with Grammy and Papa P at Wadsworth Falls State Park in Middletown.  The air was crisp but warm, the leaves were in full color and the hills were just strong enough to help burn off the pounds of Halloween candy I’ve consumed.

Though there were many highlights, two come to mind on this trip as particularly interesting.  First, Ry made his first climb up a tree!  While Papa P was gently placing him in the tree, I paused for a minute and had this internal conversation.  Keep in mind this picture is the exact moment this was happening in my mind…so you’re seeing what I saw.
   
                Dave:  Q. Umm, is Jenn watching this?
                Dave:  A. Yes, she appears to be watching this.
                Dave:  Q.  Is this a good idea?
                Dave:  A.  Is Jenn watching?
                Dave:  Q.  Okay, so you think it looks fun and secretly wish you could do it.                                                   Does that make it okay?
                Dave:  A.  Is Jenn watching?
                Dave to Ryan:  “Hey you’re doing great, just don’t let go.”

It was in that moment I realized that, if I’m going to leave a profound mark on my boys, I’ve gotta step up my game in the moment and offer some valuable advice.  Though then again, they always say you should keep things as simple as possible…. well I did that….