Parenting Tip: Don’t Forget To Dole Out Equal Amounts of Attention

Ry Cam
“Cooper is a star and that’s not fair, I want to be a star too.”  – Ryan Austin

It’s a lesson I knew.  Much like the time I was around 13 and my friends and I were playing at a construction site.  I knew that I shouldn’t try and walk across a giant pit of mud, roughly 3 feet deep by 50 feet across…. in my brand new Air Jordans!  I knew not to do that.  I did that.  I proceeded to get trapped in the mud and forced to abandon my very popular shoes in order to save myself from being sucked too far into the mud pit.  That was my fault.  I knew better but didn’t act better.I want to wear the camera.

It’s that memory that lead me to yet another parenting lesson. Yesterday, as I’m posting the bad news that The Coop Cam has come to an end, Ryan watches the video of Coop swimming.  With a dejected look on his face, Ry looks at me and says, “Cooper is a star and that’s not fair, I want to be a star too!” He was genuinely concerned that his opportunity in the limelight had passed.  It didn’t occur to me until that moment, but in that moment I was reminded that my boys need equal amounts of attention.  I know I won’t always be able to do so, but when and where I can, I should.

The End of the Coop Cam… For Now

COOP SWIMIt’s an end of an era, albeit a short era.  Much like the career of Don Mattingly, there were sparks of greatness and everyone was excited for the potential, but stubbornness and the refusal to take steroids (wait, where is this analogy going?) ruined the era. Likewise, as Doopster approaches his 3rd birthday, he has expressed a strong desire to never wear the Coop Cam again.  So, it had a good three episode run but we’ll be putting an end to the series… for now.  It doesn’t mean we can’t capture the fun, it just means we’ll have to work harder to do it.

Removing The Past

“They can make me work in a little box but they can’t crush my spirit!”
-Dilbert

We’re moving! Well, okay, I’m moving…my desk at work. I’m not sure when or to where but, in traditionally ESPN style, I’ve been at my desk for just over a year so it’s time to move. To that end, I’ve started packing up my things and doing some spring cleaning. I found the usual list; Cables I don’t know what they do, files I’ve never used, the map of our North Campus which I swear is incorrect on purpose…and this!

So, I’ve held on to this for two and a half years! It’s a Father’s Day card that Ry-guy made for me, complete with amazing artwork and some “interesting” facts about me. One look and inner turmoil sank in.

How could I throw this out? How could I keep it?! I’m sure there will be many more of these battles…why did his teacher have to put the footprints on the card! The battle went on for probably 45 minutes before I realized, that’s why I’m writing this blog! I’ll place the memory here. That made me sad afterward though because I feel like more and more of our memories are placed here, not here on this blog, but in the cloud. All of our pictures….on the cloud. All of our memories…on social media. There will be a day, in my lifetime, when Facebook or Google opens a virtual museum…not of an existing museum, but of a pure digital-only collection. I’ll be sad when that day comes and I’ll tell you all about it…here.Father's Day

The Gift of Life

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou

April 1st, 2006 was definitely a low point in my life.  I can still remember sitting in our apartment in Albany when The Guysthe news came in that my inseparable friend, Tim Moshier, had been killed while serving in Iraq.  In the years since his death I’ve been married, taken a new job, started a family and moved to a new state…and smiled…a lot.  I’ve often said this but in this terrible loss came, perhaps, the greatest gift I could be given, namely the gift of life.

There’s the typical “gift of life” that all of our brave soldiers give us.  Their sacrifice allows me to spend time worrying about what color the roof will be on our new house we’re building and whether or not we should upgrade our hotel room in Disney for the one day that we’ll be there in April.  #1stworldchoices.

The gift of life I’m talking about is deeper and much more personal than that.  The gift of life I’m talking about is the undying sense that whatever happens in this world, short of tragedy with my own family, needs to be kept in perspective.  A bad car repair, troubles at work… a speeding ticket, they’re all just not as big of a deal anymore.  Tim gave me that.

As I watch my boys grow, I gush a bit to see my childhood in their eyes.  Take this recent picture of a neighborhood party.  The “Circle Gang” if you will… Ry and Coop have friends who’re growing brotherly bonds…one fully equipped with flaming red hair and a penchant for the creative. They have each other.  As it turns out, that’s a lot.

End of an Era

Ah this is an end of an era!  It was my mother who helped me open my first Credit Card by co-signing aIMG_0192 Best Buy credit card so I could buy these speakers…. they cost about what I made in a summer of working at the Bethlehem Highway Department picking up road kill. They were my babies.

They traveled with me to college and hosted more than one amazing party.  The Cerwin Vega LS-10s watched me mature from a crazy college kid to a crazy middle-aged adult (well younger middle-aged) and has entertained two children and annoyed one wife.  Not a bad run but it’s definitely time to move on.

So, with a salute and a small tip of a cap to nostalgia, I posted these to Craigslist this morning.  Vega’s, I know you’re going to go to a bad home in East Hartford where Genny Ice will flow through your veins once more!  You’ll be happy!

Coop’s Big Race and Terrible Choices

A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.
-Steve Prefontaine

Coop and his classmates had a big race on Friday and all of the parents were invited to make the trip to watch the big race.  Coop had been talking about it since Wednesday and his teachers had really hyped it up.  This was going to be their chance to shine in the spotlight and Mr. Coop-A-Doop couldn’t wait.

IMG_3949The years haven’t treated me well as of late but there was a time, back in my prime, where I could see the faster side of 4:30 in a mile on a very consistent basis.  Running is somewhere in his blood and I have high hopes for my left-handed little athlete!  I was excited to see this race! In the morning I packed my laptop with the GoPro so I could record a 1st person shot of the race with the CoopCam.  I spent the morning with my little man laughing about the race but I had, in the back of my mind, something nagging at me.

Thursday night I had been invited to a kick-off meeting of sorts at work.  There’s a new project that was beginning and I had the opportunity to play a key role.  The kick-off meeting was scheduled for the same time as the big race!  After struggling with the decision, I decided to skip the race and do the meeting.  Coop’s teachers were kind enough to share these pictures with me and afterward, Mr. Coop couldn’t stop talking about his big race.  I asked him who won and he said, “Ben and Claire and Jaden and Landon and Nathan and…”  he continued to name all of the kids in his class until he said…, “Oh and Cooper!”  Then he said something that just broke my heart.  With the biggest smile he said, “And Daddy couldn’t go” and then went right on talking about his big victory.

There will be other such disappointments I’m sure and someday I hope Mr. Man will understand that life is filled with difficult choices but it hit home that kids definitely know what’s going on around them and they’re impacted by the choices we make.

I can’t promise I’ll make the next race but I’ll be sure to work hard to keep the life’s balance in tact.

Hello Spring, It Begins

DirtPileWith the warm weather brought a pleasant surprise!  This afternoon we were notified that Chez d’Austin has officially begun the construction phase!  We’ve broken ground and shaped the foundation and, if all gets approved on Monday, foundations will be poured next week!  Woah! This has, all of a sudden, become REALLY REAL!

It’s amazing to be both super excited and super anxious!  Let’s get this thing built!

Helping Others

We spent the evening, as a family, working together with other families at church to put together care packages for Church World Services.  These packages go to people all over the world who have been victims of tragedy whether natural or man-made.
It was a great opportunity for us to get to know others in our own church community but, more importantly, it was one of the first real opportunities our boys had to make a difference.

It really was an amazing experience.  Even in our own church, they could see how each person bringing in one item can accumulate into something more.  Within a few weeks, our church had gathered enough donations to be able to create 100 care packages.  Working together, and getting everyone involved, we were able to assemble 100 packages in about twenty minutes.  Our church will send those packages to a warehouse where others are donating.  Those will then get shipped to another warehouse.  Everything will continue to grow exponentially and a small donation turns into a huge collection of help.

It’s a great lesson for the boys to learn… even the smallest of efforts can impact the world downstream.  Oh, and the boys are just cute doing this 🙂

What Can A 2 Year Old Teach You?

From this picture you’d think that Mr. Cooper was fooling around, perhaps playing it up for the camera?  Pay closer attention though and you’ll see a very strange and wonderful phenomena.  If you haven’t noticed it yet, that empty bucket is, in fact, a puke bucket and our little trooper has caught the stomach bug that his brother had this past weekend.

So, what did I learn from this little man?  Less than 180 seconds before I took this picture, he had released most of his afternoon snack into said bucket.  Undeterred by that experience, he was still willing to lend a smile.  The secret here, I think, is that these little people live so much in the moment.  Cynicism, Pessimism and other such isms haven’t taken root in our little man.  Sure, he was sick just minutes before but he is innocent enough not to realize that he’s going to get sick again.   He smiles because he’s in the moment… he sees his dad with a camera and happily shares the moment, completely unaware of just how awful he will feel again.

So, the next time I’m feeling bad I think I’ll come back to this post and remind myself that living in the moment isn’t all that bad an idea.  You should try it too.

Goodbye Winter

I’m ready for Winter to end. I decided this just now as I sat realizing that I haven’t updated this blog in several weeks.  At first I was curious why. I started sifting through all the pictures on my phone and, much to my chagrin, there was nothing. It has hovered around 0 for a few weeks and the boys have handled it surprisingly well but cabin fever is starting to set in. It’s Pitchers and Catchers this week so that’s at least a positive…Spring is definitely in the air but it’s just too cold to feel it. more Austin boy adventures soon! I promise…